I am concerned that my chart indicates that I am not ovulating. I am not freaking out yet because I've only really charted for one full cycle. It seems silly to worry about it after just ONE cycle trying it out. I am aware of the way my chart looks and the fact that I don't see the thermal shift that I keep reading about. Here is the link so you know what I"m talking about: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Bettybookworm .
I know it is very early to be too concerned (if at all) and I will just have to see how next cycle goes. I just thought I would blog about it because it was taking up a little bit of my concentration today. I want to get that worry down in a blog just so its out of my mind for a little while. Realistically and logically I know its too early to worry about this stuff yet. Its just something that I noticed and so I had a moment of anxiety over it. I really hope it is just a product of my fumbling attempts to chart.
We are not officially TTC yet, but I am learning how to chart my BBT (basal body temperature). The actual process is not that hard. You take your temperature every morning as well as some other indicators (cervical mucus & position) to see if you can figure out when your ovary releases an egg (ovulation). It seems so very odd because growing up they tell you that if you get too close to your boyfriend that you'll end up a pregnant teenager & the judgment will rain down on you etc. etc. Well, it seems like some sort of cosmic joke that when you are situated & ready to have a kid that it seems like rocket science trying to figure it out. What I think crippled me this month is my different waking times. It only varied by about 30 minutes, but at the same time the information presented on the chart is suspect if the data is not recorded at the same time each day right? That's one of those questions I have in my mind. Is it just that my body is messed up and doesn't demonstrate ovulation through temp shift, I'm not ovulating JUST this cycle or is there something I'm doing with the Basal Body Temperature taking that is messing this thing up?
This brings me to the hardest part of charting that I have encountered: Learning to interpret the stupid thing. I am using Fertility Friend. I have not signed up for the VIP version yet, but I seem to have gotten a free trial. I browse some trying to get pregnant message boards & baby boards to see posts of people asking others if they can help them make sense out of their charts. It seems to me to be a dazzling array of graphs with various shifts and figuring out if you actually ovulated is kind of hard. I never knew that (before I started charting) that you can have your period without releasing an egg. That just seems unfair if you ask me. It doesn't seem right that you have to suffer through feeling like you might be pregnant to discover that on your chart that you showed no thermal shift at all. Granted we are still using birth control right now so it doesn't much matter about any symptoms I might have. I don't think that rationally I could be pregnant unless the condom broke. It hasn't yet and I am not a pill.
None the less, it seems wrong that a woman should experience these symptoms, chart diligently and then realize that she may or may not have released the vital component to getting pregnant. I have no idea how the women who have experienced the journey for so long must feel. I am not even at the starting line and I already feel a little bit daunted by all the information that seem to loom large. I am not beaten or discouraged-- I feel that its good to get this learning curve out of the way now. I am just hoping that I will be able to figure out how to interpret a chart before we start trying. I would ask on one of the message boards, but I am still learning so much about TTC that I am afraid that it would come off like a dumb question. The women on the different boards (babygaga, thebump & 2weekwait) all seem like such veterans compared to me. It can be a little intimidating, I guess.
Maybe I will get up the courage one day to post my chart and see what someone says online. Right now it is still at a stage were I am getting used to the fact that we only have 3 months left! I hope I don't sound too naive about this process. I know that it can take up to a year (or more that I've read) for a couple to become pregnant. The chances are something like 20% each month with no problems AND absolutely perfect timing? EEK! Oh well. We will have to cross that bridge when we come to it I suppose. I just wanted to update this blog in case there is someone out there who was wondering what was going on with me. It is also a great source of therapy to get my emotions out on paper so that I'm not bugging my husband with all my worries about TTC (when we aren't even trying yet!) AND drive myself crazy.
I think its just excitement talking. Excitement to have a family. I guess I didn't realize how much I really wanted this until now. Until next time I wish everyone out there who is trying the best of luck, those who are pregnant the happiest pregnancies, & those who already have little ones I'm sending lots of patience! :D
--B
